Baggage

Baggage we all have it I believe. In this picture there is just too
much and it overflows. I think we are like that, I think there is
only so much one person can take. I've been reading Bob Harper's book
and he has been talking that too truly get rid of the weight we need
to rid ourselves with the baggage as well.
I know that I have lots of baggage that I deal with everyday. Maybe
that is where I'm going wrong. I've really not dealt with my own
baggage like I need to. I've dealt with abuse, I've probably got more
than i care to admit Anything fro
verbal to the abuse of letting people take advantage of me. I live
in a 2 family which in itself is enough baggage for anyone. I'm worth
the change, are you???

My Fitness DVD Library

First off, I've decided to get real with myself. My brother in law
took this picture with his blackberry curve when they where over this
past Sunday. So yes this is a recent picture. Taken, September 20,
2009. It's a sad reality but I'm the biggest I've EVER been!!!! FYI
I'm the chicka in the white shirt. Ugh it's really depressing. The
last several years I've not been happy with myself. I'm trying to
change some days are better than others. Last night I tuned into watch
HOUSE which I found to be boring. I guess I should of tuned into
Gossip Girl. Anyways, I took a walk o. The treadmill. This morning I
did Jillian Michael's Backside which I didn't do all of because I
didn't have the step or a box. I also didn't do the exercises with
the resistance band. I'm sorry but this chicka had no resistance
bands :(( planning on walking on the treadmill while watching some NCIS.
I received "Are you ready? " by Bob Harper in the mail today. I've not
read much of it, but he said in it: "we have to treat our bodies as
sacred vessels, something to honor, cherish, and respect. When we
treat our bodies with love and care, everything in our life becomes
much, much more attainable. And when we don't, illness and
dissatisfaction will be ours." I think this is so true!!!! When we are
over weight I am not the first to say it, but you are sooo dragged
down and worn out, in addition to being tired 24/7. My brother in law
died a month ago with cancer two years before that his wife died with
the same kind of cancer. Is this a coinsidence? I really don't think
it is. They both where 350-400 lbs. They where pretty young, in which
I really fe they went before their time. I agree with Bob on this
really strongly. It's saddens me that our family has we t through this
but I don't want to do the same thing and die and lave the peole I
care most for in this life. Okay so here is my fitness library
collection so far:
Jillian Michaels Dvd's
Backside
30 day shred
Biggest Loser
Biggest Loser Workout
Biggest Loser Workout 2
The Biggest Loser Bootcamp
The Biggest Loser Cardio Max
The Biggest Loser Power Sculpt
Others:
One on One with Jackie Warner
Prevention's 3•2•1 workout
So yeah I have a pretty good collection started. I think I have one or
two more In The Biggest Loser collection and several of Jillian's
workout DVD's. So if there are any that you would recommend or think
I've just gotta try please don't hesitate to comment 
below!

Ears to hear with

I'm sooooo exhausted lately we have been going to bed really late!!
I guess it's my own fault. My little girl hasn't been wanting to take
a nap during the day at all. Not sure what her deal is. Perhaps she is
just getting older.
This morning she had to have tubes put in both ears this morning.
She done really well going to the back with a complete stranger. Once
she woke up she was crying because of the ringing in her ears. She
cried and cried till we got home. I think this was more scary for me.
The whole process took about an hour. Including wait time. Maybe not
even that long. I guess every mother worries about her child. It's
hard to believe she's going to be 3 years old in another month.
Another little boy was there having tubes in for the 2nd time. He was
4 years old. He had a neurolgical speech disability. He was non-
verbal, he could only say one syllabol words. It just broke my
heart! It made me thankful that my child doesn't have any major
health or developmental issues.
Mary Beth
Sent from my iPod

When does the excuses STOP???

So I find every time I watch a new Season of Biggest Loser that it motivates me. I had to take my husband's Uncle to the doctor today. He has skin growths on his hand, in which they think might be cancerous. It felt like it was an all day event, Which really wears me out. I have to take Leah To her ear doctor Thursday so, I'm sure that will be even more tiresome.

So, yeah biggest loser is really motivating. I really was excited to see Abby's story. I heard a little about it over a week ago, but I really wanted to see it. There is something about some one who has went through tragedy in life that I like seeing them perservere. I've been through sometime similar. I didn't loose a husband or child, but yet I did loose someone close to me. There was many days that death was the easy option for me. It was a choice getting up every morning! I've done this before, but yet why is this so hard for me this time around? It's a choice, but why do I keep making excuses? Its frustrating. I've been so stressed out lately. Living in this 2 family household is driving me nuts!!!!! Marty's Aunt & Uncle drive me nuts. Sometimes I feel that I am one nerve away from a mental breakdown! I have school and a toddler to look after. It seems I have a full plate. I hate to say it but, will be glad when my daughter is in school at least that will give me some time to get some things done!!!!! It can be hard going to school not to mention a kid too! ugh but, I know one day I will reap the benefits from going to school. How do I manage my time> I am sure I am wasting some of it somewhere. I guess I need to do something to make sure I get my exercise in.

I'm looking for some sort of eating plan that I can stay on. I've done weight watchers but, want something else. If anyone know of anything else and can give me ideas please let me know.

How many times do I have to say it!!!

I've been really depressed again this past week! How does one over come depression without being able to go to a doctor? I've not worked out in the past week, but once! I've been going through a lot of emotional things that mostly has to do with my marriage. Men can be jerks sometimes, and even considerate of a woman's feelings. I Have been watching a ton of YouTube video tutorials of make-up. If you have read my blog for some time you know I love the girly things in life! I've been watching a lot of Kandee the make artist videos. She is such a beautiful person. I don't just mean looks, but she seems to be a beautiful person on the inside too! She has one of those warm and bubbly personalities that is hard to not like her. So check her videos out especially her story  video.
I'm going to try and do better this week and workout. I'm planning on having homework finished by the time my husband comes in from work so he can tend to our daughter so I can get some me time to workout.
This next week I am planning on walking at least 3-4 days a week, and try to maybe do some pilates. I love pilates, may try and find a video on it.Hope everyone had a safe and happy labor day!

HYC Check in

I wanted to check in real quick. I usually forget all about check in to the Healthy You Challenge and I'm usually late. So I wanted to make it a point to do so today. I really want to get back on schedule. I've been so down in the dumps lately. I'm trying to bring myself out of it though. My workouts seem to help. Last night my husband said I was crying in my sleep last night. Dunno don't remember it. 

Anyways, I got my husband to bring in my treadmill over a week ago. I think its the best thing he could had done for me. I'm trying to get everything done especially my homework before he comes home and I'm taking at LEAST 30 minutes a day to MYSELF! I've been walking a mile in about 20 minutes give or take how I'm feeling that day. I noticed I weighed less back in May than I do now, but I haven't weighed in over 2 weeks and I'm about 6lbs less so not really sure where to begin. I've gain some weight in the last couple months. So, I'm working to get that weight of now. ugh :(( But, I'm walking everyday and I can see the improvements. 
here are my goals for the week:

Drink at least 64 oz. of water a day
a daily multivitamin
30 mins of exercises everyday
more fruits and veggies